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I now know that there are real monsters that have no empathy and no conscience.
We went to church every Sunday and were very involved, his insistence. I called him a rooster, my therapist (after I found all this and everything crumbled) told me the official therapy term is a peacock.
One woman I contacted and she filled me in, horrified because he told her we were in a bad marriage and so on…..
I still did not excuse her mentioning that she knew he was married, even though he lied to sway her.
He even forced a knife in my hand once and tried to stab himself, with my hand, so he could claim I was trying to stab him….I was so stupid and trusting and hoped and prayed and met with his therapists….everything….he never felt remorse, actually only cried when thought about how what all he had done said about him.
He never cared about what it did to me, or our son. Broke my finger, threw me to the ground or across the room…was losing control of the situation because he controlled everything with lies, and I was now looking and finding them. The strip club, he knew the strippers personally, had their numbers, met them outside the club.